Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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