He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
