i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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