i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
