Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
