I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
