Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
