Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
