I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
