Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
