so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
