two words...techno handjob
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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