I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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