hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
