I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
