My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
