if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Randomize
