he puts the penis in happiness.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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