I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
