yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
