He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
