It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
