and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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