She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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