i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
