you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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