did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
