So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
