The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
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