She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Let's get the cat blown out
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize