just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
