i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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