i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
