Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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