isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
