You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Randomize
