She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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