Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
