Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
