i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
