I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
