I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
