i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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