So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
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