I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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