laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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