The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize
