So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
