I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
