yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
