yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
A+ Viking dick
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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