New invention idea: vibrating tampons
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
