i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize