she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Randomize
