Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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