Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
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