I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
