Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize