they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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