May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize
