Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
