May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
