sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
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