Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize