Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
