The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
