i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
MIDGETS
????
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
