Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
