I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
a search helicopter?!
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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