he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
