he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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