I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
