I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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