we made out on top of his cat.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
