I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
