uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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