Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
